Kill Bill 2011

I’m not making this up, as Dave Barry might say.
Eric Cantor has tried to make healthcare go ‘way.
He pushed through the House, and this is a fact,
The “Repealing the Job-Killing Health Care Law Act.”
He’s been unfazed that, as of this minute,
The Senate just doesn’t seem interested in it.

Can someone please tell me what jobs this new bill
Presumes that the Health Care Law’s likely to kill?
From all that I’ve heard, it will save us a bunch,
And even insurers will get a free lunch
Through that mandate the Tea Party seems to abhor
That will insure those who weren’t covered before.
They’ll have to add clerical staff by the zillion
To increase their rolls by some thirty-two million.
And I read in the news that the jobs that are ending
Are making folks cut down on their health care spending.
If they have insurance, they’ll go to the nurse
Or doctor before their diseases get worse
And make the spectrum of those employed wider
By bringing more work to each health care provider.

So who are these people whose jobs we will kill
If we fail to pass the Republican bill?
Some epidemiologists and statisticians
Whose job is to screen preexisting conditions;
Some ER assistants who won’t have to treat
College grads who, health-plan-wise, were out on the street.
But most of all, if the new plan’s implemented
And not bickered over or deeply resented,
The guys who will mainly be thrown out of work
Are lobbyists toiling for Blue Cross and Merck.

Barbara Mende writes about careers, computers, and other humorous subjects.