OmniMegaCorp Announces Armed Merger with Open Media Boston (... April Fools!)

BOSTON - In a surprise move, OmniMegaCorp of New York and Ulan Bator - a leisure service of the Bank of Insubtantia - proclaimed its hostile takeover of Open Media Boston at an early morning press conference in a bunker in an undisclosed location.

OmniMegaCorp Chairman Translation Yclept set a brisk agenda for his first day in charge of the once-feisty weekly news publication. Over a bowl of the company's much-feared Weevilz'n'Bitz breakfast slurry, his first order of business was to crush all opposition.

"We will give them a taste of their own insides," said Yclept, "then perhaps we'll let a few staff stay on to convert the publication into a tennis blog."

OMB Editor/Publisher Jason Pramas expressed shock, awe and confusion at this unexpected development as he was dragged from his office by corporate battle robots, "We don't even have a Board of Directors or stock; so we're not quite sure how they got majority control of our non-profit, but we're looking into it."

OMB Tech Editor Jesse Kirdahy-Scalia is being converted into an android and was unavailable for comment at press time.

The other surviving staff members were last seen fleeing west.

OmniMegaCorp will update this story as it sees fit.